Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
You notice the person who has it. You're aware of a special quality and though you can't define it, you know what it is. It's charisma. Read more...
Difficult people. Oh, wouldn’t the world be a better place without them!
Think of one. Why do they seem difficult to you?
Maybe they do things differently, maybe they have a different approach, maybe they have a different communication style, maybe they have different goals in mind, maybe they consider time and deadlines differently, maybe they……. – you fill in the blank.
Usually, people are difficult because they are different.
So, seek to see the world from the other person’s point of view.
I am not saying that you should agree with them, but at least try and figure out why they are behaving the way they do. People always have a valid reason (to them) for doing what they do.
So you could ask…
“What is the positive outcome you want to achieve by this behaviour?” or words to that effect. At the very least it will make them stop and think and you will probably learn something useful.
If you can’t ask, do it as a thought experiment like this to get insights that will help.
We are very seldom operating at our peak – our most productive, our healthiest, or our best-balanced life.
I am sure, like me, you have areas in your life you would like to improve.
And, you know, it’s easy to improve.
The only thing you have to do? More than nothing.
Maybe like me, you sometimes say “I need to…….”
And then tomorrow, do nothing about it.
Tomorrow, what are you going to do that is more than nothing?
And the day after?
This is something I have come to appreciate more during the pandemic…
The bad casts a shadow.
And if you keep thinking too much about what’s bad, you may lose what’s good.
As an experiment, notice how much time you are thinking about good stuff vs bad stuff.
What is your ratio of good vs bad thinking, or positive vs. negative thinking?
How can you tweak that ratio to something better for you?
You see, we feel the way we do because of what we think – about ourselves, our world, and what happens to us.
So, if you want to feel better, think better ?
Here are some tips on thinking better.
Do you want to change something in your life, in your work, in your relationships; your health, weight, happiness, job, confidence...?
Here's the secret.
You can change your life only to the extent that you can tolerate a little discomfort.
That's all. And it is that simple.
As soon as we start to try and change something, we feel uncomfortable because it is different.
How will you ever change if you can't tolerate a little discomfort?
Your motivation to change needs to be sufficient to overcome your competing motivation to avoid discomfort.
Therefore, you can do two things:
1. Increase your motivation to change 2. Decrease the discomfort of change
Think of a change you want to make.
Each and every day, how are you going to approach that change differently now?
It is spring, and the daffodils are coming up. In a park near here, the lawnmower cut down a bed of these budding daffodils. What a shame. Perhaps the lawnmower driver did not see them.
If a plant sends its first tentative leaves above the ground, it is worth waiting to see what kind of plant it is before sending in the lawnmower.
If a new idea blinks its way into the light, it is worth waiting to see what kind of an idea it is before destroying it.
Too many times, we destroy new ideas in their infancy before we see what they can become.
The next time you or a colleague has an idea, give it a chance to grow. Think of it as incubation (and protection from the lawnmower). The green shoot can become a daffodil, the ugly duckling becomes a swan, and an idea can grow to change everything.
Walt Disney used to organise his creative teams so that new ideas had a chance to flourish, and you can also use his simple process. It is method 3 at the bottom of this page.
Despite the fact that most of the body language we ‘speak’ and ‘listen’ to is at the unconscious level, we can consciously improve our ability to use it. How are you communicating much of what others actually ‘hear’?
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